First of all, let me just say being sick, disappointed in not getting a house, and stressed about job hunting was not helping.
Wednesday I get a phone call that my cousin's husband was in a wreck and killed. He was only 22. My cousin is a widow at 20. They weren't even married for a year yet. I was ( and still) completely heart broken for her. They have a daughter, who looks just like her daddy, that will never know him. I call my aunt and I can hear my cousin just sob in the back ground. I just can't even imagine what she is going through. I can't imagine a life with out my husband.
Friday my sister calls me at work and she doesn't feel good. I'm like "Uh I need to call my mom because I don't know what to do" So I call my mom and she says that she'll go pick Em up from school. 20 mins later Mom calls me panicking because she's been in a car wreck! I FREAK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!! My brother goes and gets my mom and now I've got to pick up Emily. I immediately call my boss (who knows about everything that's gone on this week) and say "I need to go now. My mom was in a wreck, my sister is at school sick. I need to go." Luckily she's awesome and she says "Go! I'll be up there to answer the phones." I'm balling! Crying my eyes out because my cousin just died from a car wreck. I call my husband and he says "You have to calm down or you're going to scare your sister." I calm down long enough to drive and get sis. I tell her "Moms been in a wreck". I see the tears start and say " BUT SHE'S OKAY! I promise!" The first thing that she says as soon as she knows mom is okay " But we just got that car! People at church raised money for us so we could have a nice car." I'm beyond thankful that God kept my mother safe. I couldn't handle losing her. Now I pray that the insurance will move quickly and that God will provide Mom with another perfect car for her.
BUT this was the straw that brought the camel's back. While Em was in bed and mom was on her way home all I did was cry, like ugly loud sobs. Grandma Alice texted me asking if everything was okay. I called her and spilled my guts of everything that was bothering me lately. I'm pretty sure she couldn't understand me at some points but it was nice to cry and let it all go.
When mom got home I ran and hugged her and was so grateful she was home safe and sound.
Saturday was one hell of a roller coaster day (I had a funeral AND a wedding to go to). I had to go to my cousin's husband's funeral. It was packed! People were standing in the back and the sides of the church and sitting in the choir chairs on the stage. It was heart breaking to hear my cousin sobbing on the other side of the church. When we did the recession line, I was fine until I saw her and then I started doing my ugly crying thing. All week all I've wanted to do is run up to her and hug her and hold her tight. I've kept my distance because if it was me I know I'd just want to be left alone.
Me and my sister in law were talking at the funeral and she said "I'm prepared for Tj to tell me my parents or grand parents are gone but I'm not prepared for someone to ever tell me that my husband is dead." I feel the same way. Last night I held my husband all night long. I didn't want to let him go. I didn't want him out of my sight. The last few weeks, life has taken its toll on us and after this week all I want to do is be with him. I'll never know when I'll get that call that says he won't be coming home anymore.
Kiss your loved ones good night and good bye because you'll never know if they'll wake up or come home.
Pray Request
- Please keep my cousin and her daughter in your prayers. That God will just wrap his arms around them both and let he know she is loved and protected.
- Please pray the insurance will move quickly and easily for my mom and that she will find the perfect car again.
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